Why not me, Why not now?

Do you ever want something but aren’t sure whether or not you deserve it? Maybe you feel like someone else needs it more or wants it more, and therefore deserves it more. Well I know that I have often times felt that way, but no longer think that anyone should feel that way. I heard a pastor give a sermon a few Sundays ago talking about how the time is now, and I truly believe that. I don’t want to make this a sermon though, so I’ll give my version of what he said with minimal biblical references.

So what makes someone worthy or deserving of something that they want? Better yet, what makes someone not deserve what they want? In this country, aren’t we all entitled to the pursuit of happiness? Very wise men thought that the pursuit of happiness was important enough to write it into the Declaration of Independence as one of the sovereign rights that all men hold. So once again I ask you, what makes someone not deserve it?

Does someone not deserve something because they messed up somehow? If that’s the case then many people that have had huge impacts on the world. Take for instance former President George W. Bush, he was arrested a time or so when he was a young man, yet he went on and led the greatest nation in the world. Or how about some of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America, many of them practiced slavery, so does that make them undeserving of being influential? Does President Bush’s arrest make him unworthy of being President? Or how about I throw in a biblical reference since this post was inspired by a blog, before he was blinded on the road to Damascus Paul was known as Saul, and he persecuted Christians. But obviously his transgressions didn’t make him unworthy of salvation because he went on to write thirteen of the books in the New Testament. What I’m trying to say is that people make mistakes, but those mistakes don’t make them undeserving of things that they want. If someone can persecute Christians, then go on to become a great Christian and leader in the church himself, than anyone can recover from a mistake and get what they want.

Maybe someone doesn’t deserve something because there is someone that deserves it more? Well on this I say BS. Who decides who is the most deserving of the things that we want in this life? How do you compare two peoples worthiness? The last time I checked there isn’t a rubric to compare lives too. I personally believe that there is no way to tell someone that they aren’t worthy, simply because everyone is worthy and deserves whatever it is in life that they want. They just have to want it bad enough.

Getting what you want is all about wanting it bad enough. The history books aren’t filled with people that sort of wanted something, they are filled with people that have a passion for something and are willing to risk everything.

Take this story for example, in Alabama a young lady was born to a carpenter and a teacher, who later divorced and left the girl to live with only her mother. After attending several rural Alabama schools, she entered a vocational school where she was forced to drop out at an early age to care for her mother and grandmother as they became ill. The young lady finally finished high school at a time when less than 7% of her demographic had a high school diploma. This girl, from such humble beginnings later went on to become one of the most respected and well known leaders in the Civil Rights movement, see this lady was Rosa Parks. Now did Rosa Parks not deserve to sit at the front of the bus with the white people? Of course she did, all men were created equal according to our Declaration of Independence. The difference in Mrs. Parks and the rest of the population at that time is that she wanted something bad enough to risk everything, and she knew that she deserved it.

Not everyone is going to be a civil rights activist that goes on to receive the Congressional Gold Medal and Presidential Medal of Freedom, but everyone is capable of getting what they want out of life if they try hard enough. Rosa Parks wanted something and she went for it, just like we should do with anything that we take on in life today. We should put our whole hearts and minds behind our tasks, and if necessary risk everything to get it. The level of desire we have is the how worthy and deserving we are of something. From now on don’t say “Can I have what I want,” instead say “I want it now.” Instead of saying why should I have it, say why shouldn’t I have it?Instead of saying why should it be me, ask people why it shouldn't be you! See we all deserve all that life has to offer, and we are all capable of getting it, we just have to want it bad enough. From now on let’s not settle for anything less than what we dream of. It’s ours for the taking, we just have to want it bad enough to reach out and grab it! Don’t wait any longer, because life has an expiration date. This is life, and in this life the time is now. Now is the time to have everything you ever wanted, just reach out and grab it!

Supporting Actors...

Supporting actors, backup vocals, wingmen, second string sports players, what do all of these people have in common? Well all too often these people are some of the greatest talents in the world, yet they never get the chance to really shine and let the world know what they are made of. It happens all the time, the starring actor or the starting player gets so much attention that the people around them never get the chance to. Many times people wonder how someone could miss that obvious talent when it was right in front of their face, but I have learned that in life the hardest things to see are the most obvious ones.

Now all of you know that I am not athletic, I can’t sing, I don’t act, and I’m not a coach, so why does missing talent that’s obvious matter to me? Let’s change the scenario and talk about missing opportunities and missing chances that are right in front of you. It makes perfect sense now right? How often do we pass up something that is right there? How often does someone not take the chance and see what happens because they don’t recognize that the chance is there to take?

I guess I should just go ahead and be blunt with what I am talking about, I am talking about the relationships that people miss out on because they never realize what they have sitting right in front of them oftentimes. How many times do you see people that you think would be absolutely perfect for each other, only to be told “Oh we’re just friends.” Or how many times have you been interested in someone to be told “Well we have those friendship barriers separating us.”? This is one thing that I will not understand no matter how long I live. Friends tell each other stuff all the time and friends get to know each other better than anyone else knows them. Friends get so close that they know what the other person is thinking almost before they even think it, and they would be perfect to date each other, yet they never do because of those friendship barriers. Someone please leave me a comment explaining to me why you can tell your deepest darkest secrets to someone, yet not want to date them because of friendship barriers? I simply do not understand this. It has always been, and will always be, my belief that your significant other should be your best friend. But apparently I am alone in this thinking, otherwise there wouldn’t be friend zones would there? By definition a friend is “a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.” Doesn’t that sound like someone you would want to be in a relationship with? Don’t you want someone that is concerned with your personal regard? I know I do.

I say all of this because there are several times in my life when I have been on both sides of this fence, and consequently I feel that I have missed some really good opportunities. But then again, those people have usually gone on to find really good relationships so maybe I was supposed to pass on that and let them go find other things that were better for them. Maybe that’s how all friendships are, maybe your best friend really does fit you well, but you pass on them to let them go find something else. It certainly doesn’t hurt anyone if they find a relationship they become happy in. The more I think about it perhaps it is a best friends job to be there to support someone, even though you could almost certainly make their life easier if you dated them instead of giving advice about their other significant other.

At the University of Southern California, Matt Cassel sat the bench and never started a single football game, yet now he is a Pro Bowl quarterback in the NFL. Mariah Carey, who was the world’s best selling recording artist in the 1990’s, was once a backup singer. Mark Wahlberg, Kate Hudson, and Jack Nicholson were all supporting actors at one point in their careers. And at one point every husband or wife was a best friend. At times it’s hard to imagine that a best friend isn’t the best person for a relationship with someone, yet then we realize that maybe it just isn’t time for that to happen yet. Perhaps that best friend just needs a few more supporting roles before they take the spotlight, perhaps they need to be Scottie Pippen for a few more years before Michael Jordan is more of who they are. Being second string, a backup artist, or even the best friend isn’t necessarily as bad as it seems like sometimes. When we all look at life we want to be the star, and we want to be the one with the girl, but sometimes being the best friend is life at the moment. If we give things time then we will eventually break through those friendship barriers. If we are really lucky then we may one day have a relationship with someone who can also be our best friends. Things always work out the way they are supposed to, it just takes the good sense to not rush them. So I make it my vow to play the supporting role as long as I need to. I will not try to rush into the spotlight, and I will not even mind being the best friend instead of the boyfriend anymore. This is just a simple thing that I think will help my life become simpler! Until next time, keep your heads up, wait for things to develop and be a friend to someone!